Finding Your People

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When playing the life and career game, one of the most important quests we are given is to find our people. These people are different from your original family or clan members; your clan members are part of your hometown and are there to provide you with a sense of belonging from which to launch out into your life adventure. This new quest, which is first given around high school graduation time, is a chain quest that can last a lifetime. At the end of it, however, lies your true identity and the others who are like you. High school and college counselors are a great resource for n00bs to gain insight about who they are as a person and what direction they should go in to begin looking for “their people.” If skipping the college route and jumping straight into the workforce is more of a n00bs style, then getting the counsel of an experienced, trusted friend or family member would be the place to begin.  These resources aid the young adventurer by helping them evaluate and discover what the noob’s calling might be. These people are the noob’s trainers or mentors. For some, they may gain a mentor in their first job or at college. Whichever the case may be, the n00b’s life path will steer him or her to a place of convergence with this trainer. The universe knows that a young adventurer needs guidance, and it will send the right person into the newbie’s path, where the mentor will call forth and validate the noob’s identity and general purpose. Sometimes it is difficult to listen to these initial mentors because they may tell us the truth. In the movie Finding Joe, there is a tale of a tiger cub who had been raised by sheep. If it hadn’t been for an adult tiger to walk by and recognize the abnormality, the young cub would have thought it was a sheep for the rest of its life. But as fate would have it, the adult tiger took the cub and led it to see its reflection in a watering hole. There, the mentor revealed the cub’s false reality and showed it the truth. The movie explains that the truth can be difficult to swallow at first. It can challenge everything a young n00b previously believed. However, the truth is essential to hear if one is ever to go forth and find one’s self and eventually find one’s people. Trainers in an MMORPG let adventurers know how to perfect their class. They train them. They help them understand how to use their natural gifts, talents, and skills. They reveal the truth and guide them.  This can mean leaving behind some juvenile securities in exchange for the insecurity of growing into what one is destined to be. It can be painful, but it is the only path to transformation and true identity. The job of a trainer is to help you discover who you really are. Once newbies embrace their true calling, they can go forth and look for their tribe.  Out there, somewhere, in the big, wide world is a group of travelers who have all been following the same star. The star has called them, just as it has called all the adventurers of the same type. Some find their people earlier in life than others.  It is a complex chain quest of listening, observing, saying no to distractions, and receiving the truth. But, at some point, if adventurers want to fulfill their destiny, they will have to have the courage to accept the truth of who they are. Inevitably, this will require shedding a comfortable skin of who they aren’t. It will mean taking a stand. It will mean leaving behind some who were friends at one time, but now seem to keep the adventurer trapped and stunted.  On the other side, however, is a confidence and convergence in the adventurer’s life that can’t otherwise be obtained. Once the quest is completed, and the adventurer finds their people, they can begin to plant the seeds that will grow into their greatest contribution. Finding one’s people is an essential piece of the overall life and career journey. The search may take decades for some. The quest is given as one leaves home for the first time, but the journey isn’t complete until one has shed the skin of prescribed identity and embraced the truth of who they really are. Once discovered, however, the hero will never look back. The old skin won’t fit anymore. In this authenticity, adventurers join a group of others who have completed a similar chain quest. They, too, have endured loss and insecurity to get to this gathering. All have allowed their trainers to guide them to this point. They have received notoriety and rewards along the way to keep them headed in the right direction. Each has something to share with the group. And it is from belonging and marinating within this group of similars that the adventurer is finally affirmed and encouraged to “relax” and begin producing. The search for Maslow’s belonging and esteem needs are met here. Here is where the adventurer crafts their own unique contribution to the world. Carry on, friends, and embrace the truth. Find your people. They are there waiting for you on the other side of your quest. Seek out your trainers and listen for the truth. Stay tooned, J